Confident vs. Confused

The last few weeks have been interesting. I have had a series of compliments about my appearance. Last week, as I was out walking my dog, a guy in a truck drove past and almost hit a trashcan while staring at me. I gave myself a quick check to make sure that there was nothing exposed that shouldn't have been, but I appeared to be fully clothed. This was both confidence-inspiring and confusing. I, like many women, am not a huge fan of my body. I consider myself to be slightly on the pretty side of average, as far as appearances go, but I can rattle off a list of things that I don't like about the way I look. When I get compliments, it's out-of-place with the way I look at myself.

I feel the same way about my writing as I do about my body. I'm on the good side of average. I can write a story that has a coherent plot, my grammar and spelling rock (thanks, Dad!), and I feel that I can keep a reader's interest, at least for a little while. Every once in a while, though, I'll share my work with someone and get a really nice comment. For example, my friend Cavid (not his real name) read and line-edited a story that I was submitting, and told me that he thought my voice was very similar to Neil Gaiman. This was AWESOME! At the same time, it was confusing and scary. Do I really sound like someone who is so insanely popular and talented? Is this a good thing? (I was assured that it is a good thing.) It just doesn't fit with the way I look at my writing.

What's the moral of this post? You know, I'm really not sure. Maybe I need to re-examine the way I look at myself, both as a person and a writer. Or maybe the world's standards are just dropping. (See? I can't manage to squash that inner critic!)

Things on my desk

It's late, I'm tired, and I'm not feeling particularly creative at the moment - I spent all day playing with cards and my new Cricut machine. So instead of the usual blathering or five-minute fiction, today, I'm giving you a look at some of the things you'll find on my computer desk.

I've got two shelves above the computer, and they have some fairly standard stuff - manuals and programs, blank cds, a pen holder full of pens, pencils, and highlighters. There's also a Webster's Dictionary, my Descriptionary: A Thematic Dictionary, and two baby name books - all supplies for writing. Note the lack of a thesaurus. I don't really like thesauri, except for saying the name.

On the desktop are the more interesting bits. I've got my Rolodex, which is in desperate need of an update (note: if you are my friend, you should send me your info, so I can update the Rolodex!). Along the same lines is my Anne Geddes birthday book, which also needs updating. I've got a pen holder that has two pairs of scissors, three pens, and a post-it pad. I have a nifty green and white paperclip holder that Shane gave me for my birthday. I've got a half-naked Scotsman (it's a coaster, from Claire). There's a big-ass pile of those little black clippy things for big piles of paper, leftover from last year's NaNo goody bags (and probably ready to be recycled for this year's goody bags). I have a box of AntiViral Kleenex, because you want AntiViral things around the computer. Last, but not least, is my plot bunny, a cute little critter that arose from the NaNo forums. If you don't know what this NaNo thing is, go check it out: National Novel Writing Month.

I'm sure there are some other little things, but it's dark, and they're probably not that interesting anyways.

Habit forming...

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. I'm not entirely sure who 'they' are, or how they came to this conclusion. However, if you Google "days to form a habit," you'll find an awful lot of websites that tell you that it will take 21 days to form a habit. A few claim it's 30 days, and some say 28.

Whatever. In any case, be it 21, 28, or 30 days, I think that I have blogged consistantly enough for it to be a habit. I blog at the same time every night (more or less), at least relative to the time I go to bed. At first, it was a novelty, and I loved it. After a few days, blogging felt like a chore, but I slogged through. Now, it's about as much of my routine as putting on pyjamas. (Yes, I wear pyjamas to bed. And I spell 'pyjamas' with a Y. I'm Canadian, I spell funny - get over it.) I think I need to start flossing my teeth as regularly as I blog. My dentist would like that.

So now that this comes more naturally (timing-wise, if not idea-wise), I've been thinking about other habits I could form. And before you go suggesting it, no, I don't want to form a drug habit. Besides, from what I've seen and heard, you don't have to waste 21 days to form that one.

I could incorporate daily knitting into my schedule. I do craft a lot, but not during the week. I think I'm just too tired after working all day. Perhaps a napping habit would be beneficial. A nap is always a good idea, isn't it?

The problem with habit-formation is that it actually takes effort to form any worthwhile habit, and, well, I'm kind of lazy.

I think I'll just be proud of my blogging habit for a while longer.