Monday, March 7, 2011

Letters to things

I am totally snagging the awesome letter-writing-stylings of Kiersten White.  You should go check out her blog, because she is really cool.  And short!  And her book, Paranormalcy, is a New York Times Bestseller (which I feel very guilty about not reading, because I read her blog faithfully, but I just don't like reading hardcover books - they don't feel right in my hands - so I'm waiting for the paperback edition).

And now, on to the letters!


Dear Spiders-who-look-like-dryer-lint,

   I know it's still a bit chilly outside.  However, I would appreciate it if you would STAY OUT OF MY BEDROOM.  I would also appreciate it if you would stop lurking in the basket of clean-but-unmatched-up-socks.  There is very little that freaks me out as much as reaching to pick lint off of the sock I want to wear, then realizing the lint has legs and is moving towards me.

Arachnophobically yours,
Danielle


Dear Clean-but-unmatched-up-socks,

   I promise, I haven't forgotten you.  I just had a lot to do this weekend, and getting you all back with your partners will have to wait until the rest of the laundry is washed and dried, the dishes are done, the carpets are vacuumed, the guest room is decluttered, and Otter's sweater is done.

Until my downtime,
Danielle


Dear Otter's sweater,

   Yes, I realize that you're a maternity sweater, and that we're on a deadline.  I'm working my hardest to get everything else tided up, so I can work on you without getting you covered in dust or spiders or mis-matched socks.  I'm not avoiding you, really!  I can't wait to get back to enjoying our time together.

Hurrying through the dishes to get to you,
Danielle


Dear mean pug at the dog park,

   Don't bite my dog!

Snappishly yours,
Danielle


Dear Blogglings,

   I hope you've enjoyed my outbursts at (mostly) inanimate objects.  I hope to finish reading another book to review soon, so we can return to a more writer-ly focus here.  Until then, please enjoy visiting some of the awesome blogs I follow by clicking on the "Links" tab above, or just clicking on this link to Kiersten's blog.

Always (trying to be) entertaining,
Danielle

4 comments:

Cowboy Joe said...

You are entertaining.

Karen said...

I agree, you are very entertaining. And I appreciate the sweater very much and I'm happy that it won't have lint-like spiders on it. :)

Jolene Perry said...

You crack me up. AND I hate reading hardbacks, too!
I love the feel of a paperback, and I'm slowly learning to love the feel of my kindle...

Love, ma said...

Hilarious! I'll be on the lookout for lint with legs!