Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Let's Take a Trip

A guilt trip, that is.

I've gotta say, I'm tired of people trying to send me on guilt trips.  Hello, raised a Catholic here!  I've got lots of experience dealing with guilt!  I've even felt guilty for not feeling guilty about things.  How's that for a brain-bender?

Thing is, I'm completely capable of feeling guilty about things on my own.  I don't need (or want) someone else to try to make me feel guilty about something.  See, that has got an effect that is probably quite a lot different than what the person wanted.

Let's say that Bob wanted me to do something, but I had already made a commitment to Joe to do something at that same time.  I'm going to honor my commitment to Joe, while feeling a little bit guilty about not being able to lend Bob a hand.  However, I'll get over that guilt because I'm only human, and can only be in one place at a time (though it would be cool to be able to be in two places at once!).

Now let's say that Bob was unhappy that I had decided to honor my commitment and do whatever it was that I did for Joe instead of doing what Bob wanted me to do.  Bob decided to try to make me feel guilty about not doing his thing, telling me how hard it was to do without me, or how much easier things would have been if I had been there, or maybe just repeatedly making pointed remarks about how long it has been since he's seen me around doing things with him.  He's hoping that, by making me feel bad about not doing what he wanted me to, I'll give in next time and do what he wants.

Ha.  No, actually, here's what he's done: he's made me mad.  Like I said, I'm plenty capable of feeling guilty on my own.  But to have someone try to force it on me?  No way, buddy.  Now, next time Bob asks me to do something, I'll make up a reason not to.  And if he tries guilting me again?  Next time, the reason will be something really lame, like "I have to relace all of my sneakers, sorry."

'Why am she telling us all of this?' you may ask.  Well!  I have an answer that's related to my blog!  I want to incorporate this into a story somehow, but I'm not entirely sure how.  I like the first-person sort of style for it, I think.  It seems more, I don't know... familiar?  And I think that guilt is very hard to show from a third-person POV.

What I'm really looking for are opinions - would you want to read about someone like this?  What about someone who is like this, but doesn't consciously realize what she's doing?  Is this more of a female trait than a male trait?

All opinions/suggestions are welcome!


Cowboy Joe said...

Well, I can't speak for all males simply because I'm not a typical male, but I feel pretty much what you have described. And I'm not even raised Catholic, I was converted to it when I had children. LOL.... but to answer the other question, I think it would be an interesting part of the story.

[feelfree] said...

I know exactly how you feel, and I think a lot of people know how you feel about guilt too, which would make that a really interesting story because I think many could relate to it. You should check my blog out too!