A letter from my body

Dear Danielle,

We want to preface this by saying that we love you.  However, after today, we're not quite sure how you feel about us.  The poor legs are exhausted!  You started the day with Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease, and it was hard on them.  And then you wore your Sketchers Shape-Ups all day!  Don't you like your legs?  Or your feet?

And let's not forget your poor skin and back!  What on earth possessed you to start hauling tree limbs around?  We understand that there were nasty storms this weekend, and that your yard was full of debris.  However, you apparently forgot that you're allergic to everything with leaves, and now your hands and arms are covered in little welts from brushing up against pine needles.  Next time you decide to do yard work, please stop and think for a moment, then go put on work gloves and long sleeves.  And instead of hauling the 18 foot tree limb over to the curb by yourself, GO ASK SOMEONE FOR HELP.  Dumbass.

Of course, we can't ignore your brain.  First, you wake up early to exercise, which is really screwing with it.  Then, you spent the day doing statistical analysis.  Can we say ouch?  Granted, you did give in and provide some extra caffeine today, but your teeth aren't all that impressed with the extra dose of sugar.

In closing, please be nicer to us tomorrow, or we'll go on strike, and you'll have to lay in bed like a vegetable.

Love,
All the parts of your body

P.S. Here's a picture of the pile of yard debris that was hauled to the curb today, including the 18' tree limb. It doesn't look nearly as impressive in the picture as it did in person.  There was a lot of debris... and still is, but it will require a wheelbarrow to bring it to the front yard.  Also, it will require work gloves and long sleeves.  And some assistance.  Sorry, body.

Pictures working!

Now if I could just figure out an easy way to upload them to my blog...

But here's a start! While in Las Vegas, Mom, Karen, Donna, May and I went to see "Love," the Cirque du Soleil show based on Beatles music.

Holy crap.

It was awesome.

We had considered getting drinks before the show, as the concession stand had a bunch of Beatles' lyric-themed beverages, but we ran out of time. It turns out, this was a GOOD THING. Think about it for a moment, if you will. Beatles music can get kinda trippy. Cirque du Soleil can get very trippy. Mix them together. Can you see why it was a very good thing to be completely sober during the show? As it was, there were definite moments of existential crisis as I watched the four little boys and the four men leading various parades of people around the stage.

And let's not forget the parachute! Do you remember playing with the parachute in gym class when you were a kid? You would all hold onto the edges, and reach up as high as you could, then pull it down and sit on the edges and everyone would be in this huge white tent until it finally deflated. "Love" had a parachute. A parachute on a MASSIVE scale. It came from the centre of the stage and covered the entire audience. Everyone had the same expression - that look of awe and excitement that you used to have when you played with the parachutes in gym class. The yellow submarine was projected onto the parachute, too. Yet another reason I was glad to be sober.

Our seats were incredible - Mom, Karen, and I were at one of the corners of the stage, literally five feet from the stage with no one in front of us. Donna and May were a bit to the side and back about four rows, but still had an awesome view.

I thought that I knew what to expect from Cirque du Soleil. I had seen them on TV and DVDs several times. I was wrong. There was so much going on, all of the time... I could have seen the show a dozen more times and caught something new each and every time.

Some day, when I'm rich, I'm going to go to Las Vegas for a Cirque tour. I'll go to every Cirque du Soleil show that's playing - there are enough to fill at least a week, I would think! "Love," "O," "Ka," "Zumanity," and "Mystere" are currently there, and once the newest casino complex opens, there is a new one, based on Elvis's music, scheduled to start. I'm already starting to save. :)

The best laid plans

Well, I had planned to upload some photos tonight, and put up a bunch of stuff from Vegas and other things that have been neglected. Unfortunately, Kodak Easy Share sucks, so I downloaded Picasa, which is rocking so far. Only problem is, it wants to go through all of my photos and compile them. And find and identify faces. So that means that I've spent the last... three hours? playing with the new program. And not actually getting anything uploaded yet, because I need to restart the computer to get my camera to talk to it nicely, but I can't restart because Picasa is still searching faces. *sigh* Perhaps tomorrow...

I feel pretty

And so I'll post a photo!

After weeks upon weeks of dressing all skanky (hey, it was a costume!), I got dressed up to go to the theatre tonight, and it was a lot of fun!

Photo prompt

"What the heck are you doing?" Shiloh screeched as her human offered her up in front of Martie.  Unfortunately, it came out as a cross between a hiss and a meow, which did nothing but make her human laugh.

"Hey, you can talk?" Martie asked, sniffing at the cat who was dangling in front of her.  Her question sounded like a sneeze, and elicited another round of laughter from the humans in the room.

"Of course I can talk," Shiloh said.  "Can't everyone?"

"The humans can't," Martie pointed out.  "They make those weird sounds, and that laughing thing."

"Well, obviously humans can't talk," Shiloh said, a note of superiority in her tone.  "But I haven't met an animal who can't talk properly."

The human and her companions seemed to tire of the animals, since all they seemed to do was sneeze and sniff at each other.  The human set Shiloh down, and the cat sniffed at the dog once more.

"Well, I haven't had any other animals around for long enough to talk to them before," Martie told Shiloh.  "There was a squirrel in the yard once, but he just wanted to play chase, so we didn't talk much."

"I have a dog here," Shiloh told him, leading the way into the kitchen.  "He's rather irritating, though, so I wouldn't expect much conversation from him."

"Hey Shiloh!  Hey, hey!  Who's this?  I'm Grover, who're you?  Hey?  What are you doing here?"  A very high-energy, rather large dog came bounding into the kitchen, shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Shhh!" Shiloh hissed.  "The humans will come!"

Sure enough, even as Shiloh hissed her warning, the lead human came into the kitchen, shouting angry words.  The two dogs cringed, while the cat simply stared at her.  After another few shouts, the human left, apparently satisfied that the dogs were now silent.

"Who are you?" Grover asked again, more quietly.  He sniffed at Martie, who stood still while he completed his inspection.

"I'm Martie," the smaller dog replied once Grover moved away.  "I'm new."

"Do you like to play ball?" Grover asked, getting excited again.  "I love to play ball.  Come on, I'll show you my ball!  Hurry!  Come see!"  The big black dog bounded back to the other room, and Martie followed close on his heels, her toenails clicking across the floor.

Shiloh sighed.  Dogs were so uncivilized.

It's not dead yet!

I thought my camera was dead - it was stuck in limbo between on and off, with the lens bit sticking out, and the screen black. However, it was just stuck! I brought it out to show my photographer friend, to see if she could do anything with it, and I somehow bumped the lens bit. It went back in, so I hit the power button, and it worked! Now, it's still close to dead - it's been putting these icky lines across random photos if it has anything but full power - but I can still use it! So today's blog is full of all those pictures that I've been meaning to post!


First up, above and to your left, is the awesome monkey bedspread that I talked about a few posts back ('a few posts back' is like 'the other day' in that it could be yesterday, or it could be two weeks ago). The sheets, which are mostly hidden by the duvet, are blue and teal striped, with a little monkey border. I love them.

Next up: the monkey rug! According to the tag on the rug, it's supposed to be a bathmat. While I tend to follow the manufacturer's suggestions about the intended uses of most items, this one is an exception to the rule. Why? Because I don't have monkeys in my bathroom. If I did, this would certainly be the bathmat of choice. However, my bathroom has a more... Barbie doll feeling to it. Yes, my bathroom is filled with Barbie-pink accessories - you know, that bright, not-quite-neon-not-really-magenta colour that's on all of the Barbie doll and accessory packages. You can see how the monkey bathmat really doesn't fit with that scheme. Instead, it is a monkey beside-the-bed mat. And my puppy enjoys trying to eat its ears.




Finally, my puppy! This is Mia, the unhousebroken. In this photo, she is located in my lap, which is her favourite place to be. Isn't she adorable? Even if she does poop everywhere...