I hate exercise

I was reminded of that fact this morning.  Actually, I've been reminded of it every morning for two weeks now. Yes, I'm doing exercise stuff in the mornings.  Yes, I may have lost my mind a bit.  But thanks to that extra daily activity, I haven't gained any weight yet this holiday season, so I suppose it's a good thing.  My clothes still fit.

It's not that I don't like activity.  I enjoy going for a long walk.  I enjoy going ice skating.  I like playing outside with my dog.  I don't mind moving around, really.  It's just... exercise.  Blah.  I get all hot and sweaty and out of breath.  I feel icky and tired afterwards.  During the exercise, I'm not a happy camper.

However, I have noticed that it makes me a bit more awake by the time I get to work, and I think I might be a little more focused, and I definitely have more energy.  So it's a trade-off.  It's one I'm willing to make, for now.  We'll see if my will power extends beyond the holidays.

You know what helps your Christmas cards get delivered?

Putting them in the mailbox.

Yeah, it turns out that if you just leave them sitting on your dining room table, they stay there. For some reason, the postman is reluctant to come inside and shuffle through the piles of paper on the table to find the cards. Can't imagine why.

So today, I finally got the cards into the mail. You know, the cards I made in October? Yeah. So much for being prepared ahead of time.

But the cards are in the mail! And with luck, most of them will arrive before Christmas.

Reliving the good times

I'm on a Joss Whedon kick again - I'm almost done season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I'll follow that up with Firefly, Dollhouse, and Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.  And if I happen to get Angel or appropriate gift cards at Christmas, I'll add that one to the lineup, too.

There's just something about these series that touch me.  Even in the early, cheesy episodes of Buffy, when they were still finding their way, the characters were easy to identify with.  I can see so much of me in young Willow, it's a little disconcerting.  But I can see parts of myself in Buffy, too.

And I've never watched a series that can make me cry so much.  Sure, I'm a crier.  My instinctive reaction to any strong emotion is to cry, whether it's sadness, happiness, anger, frustration... And Whedon's stuff can make me react.  It's strong, emotional stuff.

Tonight, I'm watching the episode "I Only Have Eyes for You," and Buffy's emotional turmoil, with the whole Angel-turning-evil-thanks-to-sex thing, reflected in the teacher-student relationship... wow... it just breaks my heart.  And I love it.  I think this is one of my favourite episodes.

Does anyone out there have strong feelings for or against the Whedon-verse?  Or a favourite episode?

Something different.

While I'm busy moaning about how much my mouth hurts after my fillings, go watch this video. I refuse to feel bad about reading romance novels.

Mmm... cupcakes

I had a cupcake tonight, and it was tasty.  I also had a hamburger and french fries.  Tomorrow, I think I'll have some cereal bars for breakfast, and pizza for lunch.  And for dinner... soup.

Yes, that's right.  Squishy food for dinner, assuming I feel like eating at all.

I really don't want to go to the dentist tomorrow, but I've got a chipped tooth, and it needs fixing, which means a dentist visit.  Boo.  And unfortunately, the numbing stuff is REALLY effective on me, so I probably won't feel my mouth until the next morning.  So it's squishy food time.

*sigh*

What I want

I think I've finally figured out what I want. After 32 years, I think I've got it. It's not the easiest thing to verbalize, because it's more complicated than just, "I want a piece of chocolate cake." But even if I can't entirely explain it, I think I finally know.  

And apparently, I'm not the only one who knows what I mean.

I want someone who feels like this:

And even The Band Perry kind of gets it in the chorus of their song "All Your Life":

Well I don't want the whole world
The sun, the moon, and all their light
I just want to be the only girl
You love all your life

That's what I want. I want someone who will love me for who I really am, not who he wants me to be. I've tried to be everything that someone wants, and being up on a pedestal sucks. It's a long way down, from the ideal to the reality. I'm a real person, and I've got a nice big boatload of flaws.  Please don't expect perfection. It's hard enough for me to handle my own perfectionist qualities. I don't need someone else adding to it.

I want someone who has a life of his own and wants me to be a part of it, but not all of it. I don't want to be someone's 'everything.' I've been that, and it's too much pressure. I want him to be happy on his own, but I want to be able to make him happier. I want him to be a whole person, not just 'my other half,' and I want him to feel the same towards me. 

So there you go. That's what I want.

Now if I could just find it...