Warning: Do not read the warnings!

Have you ever taken the time to sit down and read all of that paperwork that comes with a new medication? It's a good thing (for the drug companies!) that most people don't - no one would EVER take ANYTHING! They pretty much tell you that, regardless of what the medication is, there's a chance that it might kill you, but it hasn't killed many people, so you'll probably be okay. Well, you'll be okay as long as you don't have asthma or heart disease or lung disease or diabetes or blindness or a pinky finger as long as your ring finger or an uncle who's balding or a cat or bunions. Oh, and don't even think about driving, because driving while taking medication will result in you falling asleep at the wheel and dying.

Did I mention I've been sick? I've barely slept in three days because I've been coughing so much, so I finally broke down and got a prescription for a cough medicine (the OTC stuff was not doing anything for me). And please note - I did NOT ask for antibiotics. Antibiotics work if you have a bacterial infection. There is a 99% chance that what I have is a virus. Antibiotics will not work. In most cases, antibiotics do NOTHING for a cold except breed antibiotic-resistant bacteria. DON'T DEMAND ANTIBIOTICS! *ahem* Sorry.

In any case, I asked for an antitussitive (anti-cough medication, for all of you non-medical types) because I just want to sleep. Just one night. So I picked up the prescription, and like a good little medical assistant, I read the product information. And now I'm really wary of taking this stuff for the first time while home alone... Because, apparently, I'm gonna die! Okay, it's not that bad, but it makes it sound like someone with asthma should not be using it unsupervised. *sigh* I wonder if I can teach my dog to dial 911 before I go to bed tonight...