WTF? Seriously, it's been raining for three days, get it together! Stop riding my ass! If you didn't want to go as slow as 40 mph, maybe you should have taken a different route, one where the speed limit was higher than 35! Please note that I was technically speeding!
And go back and read the other notes, too, egghead!
Thank you for the rain. I'm sure the farmers and other wet-loving folks appreciated it. Can I have the sun back please?
Dear Ann Landers,
I don't know how you manage to put up with the levels of stupid that you must see every day. I applaud the fact that you haven't yet stuck a fork in your brain to make it go away. However, a lot of your advice leads to more confusion for the sorts of folks you're trying to help. Can you try dumbing it down even more? It might help them (trust me, I know the type - I see them at work every day!)
Keep up the good work,
Dear Saturday Morning,
Please hurry up and get here. I really need the sleep.
Thank you in advance,