Monday, June 2, 2008

I'm not dead!

I kind of felt like I might be when I woke up this morning... Heat exhaustion is no fun at all! So to help everyone else out there avoid the same fate that befell me, here's a top ten list: Top Ten Ways to Get Out of Helping Someone Move

10. Swear that you're allergic to the chemicals in their new carpets or paint, and that simply being within a hundred yards of the new place will cause you to go into anaphylactic shock.

9. Tell them that you would love to, but you have to wash your hair; one strand at a time, because it's time for your annual hair-care weekend.

8. Offer to help, then stack the biggest box of books you can find on top of the smallest box labeled 'fragile' - trust me, they won't ask you back!

7. Show up wearing high heels and a mini skirt. Especially if you're a man.

6. Offer to send three friends in your place, and hire three old ladies from the nursing home down the street to pose as your friends.

5. Claim that the olives told you that you're not supposed to lift anything heavier than a sandwich for the next 24 hours, then smash the olives. (Trust me, after four hours of hauling boxes and furniture in 90 degree weather with no AC, the olives will be talking to someone!)

4. Fake a broken leg. Go all out and visit an emergency room and ask them to put a cast on, just for the day. Show up for work the next day without the cast, and talk about your miracle healing powers.

3. Show up acting drunk. Nobody wants a drunk person hauling their personal items up and down stairs. More importantly, nobody wants to haul a drunk person up or down stairs after hauling all of their personal items around!

2. Claim that the medication you're taking makes you sensitive to temperature, while wearing a sweater and carrying an ice pack.

And the number one way to get out of helping someone move... JUST SAY NO! (Hey, it's supposed to work for drugs, right? Moving involves just as much peer pressure!)

1 comment:

colbymarshall said...

I heard about your case of heat exhaustion...scary!