I'm Monica

I was watching Friends with some friends yesterday, and there was an episode where Chandler decided to be nice and clean the apartment for Monica, but then he couldn't remember where everything went.  She came home and totally noticed that the couch was, like, two inches away from where it should have been, and the phone was turned 3 degrees clockwise from it's place.  

Tony laughed and said, "I've seen that expression before!"  I tried to deny it, but Shane agreed.  Apparently, if I were one of the cast of Friends, I would be Monica.  I've always known that I'm a bit picky about things, but yeesh... I didn't think I was that bad!  Is it wrong to ask someone not to sit on the furniture when they're covered in sawdust?  Or to ask someone to use the freaking coaster that's sitting right beside their drink on my brand-new table?

So I'm a little bit obsessive/compulsive... that's not necessarily a bad thing, is it?  I mean, attention to detail is a good trait.  

Fine.  I'm Monica.

You've been warned.

What it feels like

It was angry.  It wasn't sure why it was angry, but it knew that it was angry.  Maybe it was cranky because it wasn't pretty.  It was actually ugly, verging on hideous.  It was greenish-grayish little creature, and it was squishy and slimy.  It had two stubby little legs and two stubby little arms, each set coming out from opposite sides of its rounded body.  It had no head to speak of, and a single, glaring eye set halfway between its arms and legs.

It propped its arms up against the gleaming white wall, and set its feet against the pinky-grey mass that sat beside the wall.  Closing its eye, the thing pushed with all of its might, trying to shove its way out.  It kicked at the pinky-grey stuff, irritated as it squished out of the way.  It pushed at the gleaming white wall, frustrated as it refused to budge.  The thing pushed and pushed.  It shoved and shoved.  It got more and more angry.

"Shit," the girl muttered, closing her eyes and rubbing her head.  "Another migraine."

Crafty but tired

I've been exhausted lately.  I've been up too late, and up too early, and busy all day long.

Despite this, I'm feeling very crafty.  Unfortunately, I don't have time to be crafty.  *pouts* Instead, I will simply make a list of things that I am currently doing/want to do, in the hopes that it will inspire me to actually do these things.

1. Yellow crocheted wave blanket

2. Baby Charlotte's blanket

3. Erin's scrubs (I'm so sorry they're not done yet!  I promise, that's this weekend!)

4. Partners (my play)

5. Til Death (my novel)

6. Happily Ever After (my other novel)

7. White knit baby blanket

And that's just the stuff I'm in the middle of... but I only have to finish one more craft project before I'll let myself start something new!  Like one of these:

8. Armwarmers for Karen

9. Toque for James

10. Dishclothes for myself

11. "The Night It Went Too Far" (story)

Bad day

All I need is a little bit more patience.  And a little bit more sleep.  Until I get those two things (or at least one of them), I'm going to ignore the rest of the world so that I don't yell at someone who doesn't deserve it.  Later.

When I was your age...

I remember my dad telling stories about when he was 'my age'... The one he most loves to tell is the one that goes:

"When I was your age, I had to walk to ten miles to school, uphill, wearing felt socks!"

It turns out - that's a lie!  My grandmother used to work at my dad's elementary school, so she drove him to school most days!  And I've walked from his childhood home to his school... it's not ten miles.  Maybe five, tops.  The felt sock thing, though, is actually pretty accurate.  It turns out that in rural Saskatchewan, people actually wore footwear that resembled the felt lining of Sorels.  I think it's funny that the felt sock part is the true bit.

Then I started thinking about the things I could tell kids these days...

"When I was your age, Pluto was still a planet!"

"When I was your age, I used a TRS-80 computer, then a Commodore 64, then a Commodore 128!  We saved our data on cassette tapes!"

"When I was your age, Saturday mornings had good cartoons!"

"When I was your age, there was no internet!"

"When I was your age, it was cool to wear legwarmers!"  Wait... that's come back, hasn't it?

So what sorts of things did you do "when I was your age"?

Much driving...

Tonight shall be a short post, because I'm exhausted.  I drove to Marietta and back tonight, so I could meet my dad for dinner.  It was great to see him again, and I wish we could have had more time.  Luckily, he's coming back in about two weeks, and this time, it will be for a visit with me, instead of just passing through on business.  Yay!

The most important part?  I drove through Atlanta, by myself, and made it home in one piece!  Yay!  I've heard horror stories of Atlanta driving.  Granted, I was driving on a Sunday night, but still, I managed to make it, so I'm proud of myself.

I listened to my "iPod mix" on the trip (that's what the playlist is labelled, I'm not just using quotation marks for fun), and I heard a lot of music that I haven't listened to in years.  I basically went through my entire music collection, and added my favourite song or two from every cd I own.  I decided that I need to re-listen to Jet Set Satellite in the next few days, because I love the title of one of their songs, and I want to write a short story with the same title.  I want to listen to the lyrics, to see if there's anything else I can incorporate.  Does anyone else do that?

Books, books, books

I love books.  I love to read.  This may not come as a surprise, given that I also love to write.  

This week, the annual Friends of the Library used book sale took place.  I went at lunch on Thursday.  I went at lunch on Friday.  I went this morning.  Each time, I shopped to capacity - on Thursday, I didn't have a container, so I only bought what I could hold.  Friday, I brought a small box, and filled it.  Today, a friend lent me a rolling cart, and I filled it to the brim.  In three days, I spent about $60, and I got... in the neighbourhood of 70 books (some are in another room, some are still in the trunk, so I don't have an exact count).  Yeah.  Talk about deals!  And it was a whole variety of stuff, too!  I got a lot of chick-lit, because, well, I like it.  I got a couple of old medical textbooks and anatomy textbooks because I seem to be collecting them.  I got a cookbook.  I got a book about Miniature Pinschers.  I got five french books by Guy des Cars - I've never read his stuff, but I wanted to get back into reading french.

The only downside?  The books are all used, and so all of them smell incredibly interesting to my puppy.  She won't leave the office, because all she wants to do is sniff the piles of books.  She's not licking or chewing - just sniffing.  But it's cute, so as long as she doesn't chew or lick them, I'll let her keep sniffing.

And to think that I had planned to go to Barnes & Noble this weekend to pick up a book or two!

Moleskine Entry

Tonight's post is the entry I made in Marmoknit's Moleskine for the International Moleskine Exchange, and is cross-posted in my craft blog.

My Grandma Leda, actually my great-grandma, was a huge influence in my life.  I have hundreds of memories of being over at her house - we spend time upstairs with the whole family, but my favourite times were when we got to go down to the basement.  Grandma Leda was a painter, and her basement was filled with all of her paintings.  Every wall down there wa

s covered in landscape paintings, and there were dozens stacked up against the walls.  The whole basement had this special smell - it was wood and paint and canvas... I've almost never smelled it anywhere else, except in my own craft room, where I have some of her paintings and a wooden chest that she stored in the basement.  Everyone in our family has at least one painting from Grandma Leda, most of us have more than one.

The other thing that I remember about her was the teacups.  When I went to Grandma Leda's, she would always make tea, and I would get to drink it out of a tiny little teacup.  I always felt so grown up, with a pretty cup that was just for me, and just for special times with Grandma Leda.  Even now, when I'm lonely and vaguely homesick, I make a cup of tea in a pretty teacup, and I feel better.

Vampires

I'm not necessarily a huge fan of vampire fiction.  Honestly, with the exception of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Dracula: Dead and Loving It (LOVE Mel Brooks!) I've had very little exposure to vampires.  I think I watched part of Interview with the Vampire, but I don't remember much of it.  I've never read Dracula, or any other major vampire books until recently.

However, I do have a very well-defined idea of what a vampire is and is not.  

I think that's the big reason that I didn't like Twilight when I read it, and why I have no desire to go see the movie (although I don't think it's in theatres any more).  She took the vampire rules, and mostly threw them out the window.  Sure, she tried to explain how the classic vampire myths are just myths and "this is how they really live," but it really didn't sit well with me.

I've started reading a new book, called Dhampir, and although it is not entirely true to the classic vampire definitions, it doesn't throw everything out.  In the mythology of this book (and I suppose the rest of the series, though I'm only on the first book), vampires exist, and they follow the classic rules: can't be out in the sun, can only be killed by a stake or beheading (although there seems to be an exception for a magical weapon?  I'm not far enough in to know yet!), don't like garlic, drink blood, etc.  The difference is that they are one of the Noble Dead, which are made up of several types of undead things.  There is a breed of half-vampires called dhampir, which are bred to hunt vampires.  I like the idea of a special critter made to kill vampires, but I'm not sure I buy into the 'half-vampire' thing... again, not far enough into the story yet to know how those are created (aren't vampires sterile?).  

I think it helps that I've played some D&D with vampires in the stories... D&D vampires are somewhat different than traditional vampires, but again, the main traits tend to be similar.  There are different breeds of vampire, and each is susceptible to a different type of damage, but at least it's from the traditional sources.

In any case, I've discovered that I can enjoy non-traditional vampire stories as long as a) they incorporate most of the vampire traits and b) are well written!

I've also discovered that I have far too many opinions on vampires...

General update

It's raining, therefore I have no internet.  This is sad.  So this blog will appear later than the time that it should, but it's being written at 6:57 pm!  (With an update at 11:16 pm.)

I had to charge my phone today.  You wouldn't think that this is an important bit of information, and if circumstances were different, I totally would NOT be excited about this fact.  However.  I got a new phone!  I charged it on Saturday afternoon, and I haven't plugged it in since.  It's been constantly on, sending and receiving texts, and I've made hours worth of phone calls!  Okay, so if my other phone hadn't been so crappy, this would not feel quite so impressive... but with the old phone, I could only talk for 2-3 minutes before the battery would die and it would turn off.  Even when it had just been fully charged.  It sucked.

But I have a new phone, and it is wonderful!!  Yay!!

On another happy note, tonight marked my return to the "Wednesday Night Thing" (a.k.a. "Project Runway Night," "Pushing Daisies Night," and other various and sundry aliases).  This was the first time since rehearsals for The Great American Trailer Park Musical really got under way - I couldn't really skip a rehearsal to go hang out.  Well, I suppose I could, but it would have been a bad idea.  It's nothing too fancy, just food, tv (usually Jeopardy), and hanging out, but I really missed it while I was gone.  I think my favourite part about it is the people - these are people who I can consider my friends, not just people who hang out with me because I'm someone's girlfriend.  Plus, they're all crazy theatre types, and that's fun.

Tonight's menu was Mexican-themed, and I made FLAN!  Okay, that's only significant if you've spent as much time watching The Great American Trailer Park Musical as I have... Tina/Pickles works at the mall foodcourt at a place called "Stand by Your Flan."  Okay, maybe it's not all that funny... but whatever.  I made flan, and it's weird shit.  It's not Jell-o, pudding, or ice cream, but it shares qualities with all of those things... and it's just... weird.  I'm not sure I made it right, since I've never had it before.  It was really sweet.  And it felt weird in my mouth - kind of creamy, kind of squishy, vaguely solid.  Just weird.  And it cracked my casserole dish.  That was sad.  But I'll get a new one, and I'll just have to be careful about making flan in the future.  If I ever make it again.

Character study

Riley sat on the couch, flipping listlessly through the channels.

"What's on?"  Connor asked as he sat down beside his wife.

"Nothing good," she said, passing him the remote.

"Still thinking about Owen's new partner?" Connor asked, knowing the answer even before he posed the question.

"Yes," Riley admitted.  "I just... I don't know.  I don't like it."

"You realize that any other husband would throw a fit about his wife being jealous of another man dancing with someone else?" 

Riley gave Connor a small attempt at a smile, then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.  "Yes, I realize that.  I've married the best man in the entire world."

"As long as you know that," Connor told her, smiling.  "But really, what is it about this new partner that bothers you?"

"I can't put my finger on it," Riley said, shaking her head.  "She's definitely not prettier than me -"

"Well, of course not!"

"And she's not a better dancer than me," Riley continued.  "I don't know.  I mean, it's really not a rational thing.  I'm irrationally jealous that a man who's not my husband is dancing with a woman who isn't me."

"Maybe you're afraid that he'll like it?" Connor suggested.

"I've listened to him complain about her already - I don't think he's going to like it!" 

Connor shrugged.  "Sorry, that's it for my theories.  Maybe you should call Dr. Phil.  I'll bet we could get on his show - 'Dance cheating - is it really cheating?'"

Riley finally laughed.  "Thanks, sweetie."

"You're welcome."  Connor could tell that Riley was still going to keep stewing about the whole situation, but at least he'd managed to make her smile.

I can't believe I'm at home

I feel like I should be at the theatre...

Anyways.

I was talking with Colby, and the conversation turned to old people and children.  I don't like old people.  I spend all day working with them, shouting in their ears because they can't hear me, writing out phonebooks-worth of medication lists, and trying not to gag on the perfumes and colognes that they all seem to bathe in.  I also don't like children.  I don't have to work with them as much, but they are obstinate, whiny, and prone to screaming fits when you try to do anything with them.  If you read Colby's blog, you'll soon realize that she also does not like children.  (Actually, that's a very generous statement.)

In any case, we were talking, and I mentioned that I thought it might be kind of fun to be pregnant.  I mean, I've got the equipment, so I really ought to consider using it, right?  Well, after Colby had an aneurysm, I explained that I didn't really want kids, I just wanted to try being pregnant.  It's too bad that you have to already have kids to be a surrogate mother, I told her.  She agreed. 

So we decided we should start an agency - a resource for women who don't mind the idea of being pregnant, but don't want kids of their own!  Instead of being stuck with a mind-reader at the end of it all, we'll end up with a nice little paycheck - awesome!  We're supposed to "be fruitful and multiply," so why not bear fruit for those who want it?  (I' ve got all sorts of 'Apple' jokes running through my head, but I'll refrain.)  Maybe we can even carry the next Pitt-Jolie creation, since she's not looking very robust these days!  

Anyways.  Just a thought.

The end!

"Is this over?  Is this done?  Is there some trophy thing that I should have won?"

Yes, I should have won some sort of trophy!  Every member of this cast should have won a trophy!  

Despite all of the craziness, "The Great American Trailer Park Musical" was a success!  We had huge crowds every night, and the energy was awesome (just like a six-inch huntin' knife strapped to your thigh)!

Okay, I've got to stop blogging, because all I'm going to do is keep quoting the show... but tomorrow, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Driving through fog

I was driving home from the theatre tonight, and my windows had fogged up, but I turned on the defrost and they cleared up.  Five minutes later, I noticed that they looked foggy again, and I got all irritated because I had just defrosted so they shouldn't be foggy!  Then I realized it wasn't my windows - it was the world.  Oops.

And I also noticed that last night's blog didn't get posted!  It got saved, so I posted it tonight.  Odd.

So the show ends tomorrow!  Which means my life will be back to normal for at least a couple weeks, so you can look forward to better blogs!

Roadkill

So everything in my life relates back to this show right now, mostly because, well, this show IS my life right now...

Last night, several of the cast/crew went to a party.  We had our own little convoy going from the theatre, and at one point, there was a dead possum in the street.  I thought it looked awfully fresh, but I did my best to swerve so that it went under my car instead of under the wheels.  We all finally got to the party, and Christine tells us that SHE was the one who hit it!  (She was the front of our convoy.)   The first thing that went through her head?  "It's just a little roadkill" - a line from the song "Roadkill" from the show!

We all got a kick out of that.  If you haven't seen/heard "The Great American Trailer Park Musical," you should go see it!  Two days left at MLT!  Or go buy the soundtrack!  Go!

I love daytime TV!

Daytime TV is great fun!  I went home sick from work today, and spent the day in bed, drifting in and out of sleep.  I had the TV on to drown out to noise of the neighbours (which wasn't too bad).  

I got to hear Martha Stewart educating people about the various types of lettuce out there (I may have dreamt it, but I think she included dandelions in that lesson!).  I got to hear "The Doctors" talking about the dangers of OTC medications.  And I got to hear Dr. Phil talking about that woman who had octuplets.

Most of what he had to say (that I was semi-awake for) was the same sort of thing I've heard everyone saying - basically, WTF?  You're on federal assistance (but denying it), you've already had 6 kids from IVF, and now you have 8 more?  And you have no job, and you live in your parents' 3-bedroom house?  Yeesh!

I really wanted to hear what Kate had to say (from TLC's "Jon & Kate Plus Eight"), but I must have fallen asleep, because I don't remember seeing her.  Because really, if the octuplet mama is going to listen to someone and take the advice seriously, the sextuplet mama is the one to listen to!  Or maybe that "19 and Counting" mama.

In any case, I dozed through tons of daytime TV today, and it was awesome.

Mia made friends!

I took Mia for her usual walk after work today, and over by the mailboxes, my puppy made two new friends!

Samuel is a six-month old standard dachshund, and he's adorable.  He's paper-trained, so he's not entirely sure what to do with himself outside.

Itsy is an older miniature pinscher (I don't know how old), who is definitely a lot more stout than Mia.  Her mama says it's because she's been fixed.  She's got the same sort of chest as Jacky, my parents' Jack Russell terrier.  

Both of the new friends were, well, friendly!  It got a bit messy, because all three dogs were on those retractable leashes, so we had some untangling to do, but it all worked out. 

The best part, though, was that Mia was so well-behaved!  She didn't bark or bite at all!  There was some jumping, but all three of them were doing that, and a lot of it was more like gazelle-style leaping.

In related puppy news, Mia has almost completely figured out that she has to walk on the same side of the tree (or light post) as me.  Almost.  We've had a few little incidents where she's nearly clotheslined herself.  And she doesn't apply this to people.  But we're getting there!

Swiss Goodness

The crackle of the plastic wrapper breaks the silence of the room.  A soft rip follows, and it crinkles again as the protective wrapping is peeled back.  A slight aroma wafts up from the package as hasty fingers pull at the wrapper, freeing the contents.  The cardboard base falls to the floor, a soft thunk.  

"Mmmm..." A soft moan sounds as the first bite is taken.  A slight saltiness at first, then rich, luscious, chocolate-y goodness.  The creamy center is sweet and light, breaking the chocolate rush.  The first bite is savoured, but the second and third are hasty, trying to get as much sweetness as possible.  Finally, the last mouthful is allowed to slowly dissolve, the chocolate and cream melding into one sweet mixture before being swallowed.

The second Swiss Roll sits in the wrapper, taunting, teasing, tempting.  It is impossible to resist.

Two bites, and it is gone.

I think we did it... barely...

So the show opened last night, and it went really well!  However, I think we're still cursed.  Here's a breakdown of what went wrong, by character (and keep in mind, there are only 7 characters in the show):

Jeannie - original actress quit two weeks into rehearsals due to scheduling conflicts.  Replacement started two days later.

Pippi - original actress quit two days before opening night.  Replacement started same day.

Lin - fell off stage two days before opening night.  Spent night in hospital, got released, and back to rehearsal the next day.  Delayed opening night by one night to give her time to recover.

Duke - had minor car accident day after opening night.  Still made it to the show on time.

Pickles - burned a hole in her costume on opening night.  Costume replaced by second show.

Music director - kidney stones.

Director - dealt with all of this!!

I'm not a really superstitious person, but it turns out that someone said the name of the Scottish play in the theatre... In any case, we're all being REALLY careful for the next week!  

On an unrelated note, my car died again, but it turned out to be an easy fix!  The lighting guy from the show came over and reconnected my battery cables, and it works again!  At least temporarily.  Go car!

Tonight's the night

Opening night... opening night... it's opening night!

Okay, that made a lot more sense in my head, where it's actually sung.  It's a line from "The Producers," right at the opening of the show.

In any case, The Great American Trailer Park Disaster... er, Musical... opens at MLT tonight!

If no one quits before curtain, or falls off the stage, I'll be satisfied.  It's been a challenging show.  And now, honestly, I'm looking forward to this!  It's going to be fun - and we're going out drinking afterwards, so that's even better.

I'm going to go break a leg.  Well, not literally.  I hope.

Gotta love live theatre!

The Great American Trailer Park Disaster is getting much better! We open tomorrow, and we're feeling pretty optimistic (at least, I think everyone else is). And after the week we've had, it's good to feel optimistic!

However, it's after 11 once again, and I'm going to bed. But I don't have to go to work tomorrow! So I shall sleep late, recharge, clean house, and write!

Three minutes to spare!

It's been a long freaking week.  Tonight will be random.

When you're onstage and all the lights go out, DON'T FREAKING MOVE.

Yellow highlighter glows nicely under a blue light.  Purple highlighter does not.

You can bruise your heart if you hit your chest hard enough when falling.

If I aim the vents in my car so that they warm my hands on the steering wheel, they're also blowing straight into my eyes.

You can make the MLT mics echo.

I can't make all of the headsets at MLT work.

I can bedazzle bras with the best of them.

Something in my wrist popped about five minutes ago, and my thumb is still tingling.

I've slept less than six hours a night for the past two weeks, and I normally need about 9 hours. 

I've bought more Starbucks in the past week than I have in the past year.

I've been at work on time all week, despite the last two points.  Okay, maybe the last one is helping with that a little.

I miss sitting down and writing.

My internet works much better at 6pm than at 11 pm.

"The Great American Trailer Park Musical" seems to be cursed.

I need to find a way to lift the curse that comes with saying the name of the Scottish play in a theatre when the person who said it has since quit the show and is not welcome in the theatre at the moment.

E-books

For a long time, I was very against the idea of e-books.   I like to read, but I love books.  I've got a fairly substantial library, and it's always growing.  I buy 3-4 books each month.  I've got almost all of my textbooks from University.  

There's just something comfortable about holding a book.  When I finished writing my first novel a few years ago, I knew it wouldn't ever end up on the shelves at a bookstore, so I self-published online through Lulu.com, and I got a copy of it, because I wanted a physical copy to hold in my hands. 

I love the smell of a new book, and the little crack that you get when you open a textbook for the first time.  I love the warmth of a used bookstore, and the potential of a big chain store like Barnes & Noble.  I love to write in notebooks when I'm in the brainstorming phase of writing, although I usually switch to the computer for the actual writing (I type much faster than I write).

However, I bought my first e-book last week, and it's proven to be a good investment.  I got the first Shannara trilogy by Terry Brooks - I read it about 15 years ago, and I really enjoyed it then.  It's now out in a single volume, and I downloaded it for $9.95.  The actual book is running about $22 right now.  I've got it on my Palm Pilot, and I've actually been reading in places that I wouldn't normally take a book - at Cracker Barrel or other restaurants while I'm waiting for friends to arrive, in the OR while I'm waiting for the patients to arrive, in bed (okay, I read real books in bed most of the time).  It's just been a very convenient way to read.  

E-books will never replace real books for me, but as a whole, I'm no longer condemning them.

I suck. Wait. No, everyone else sucks.

I have had another Alexander day.  

I wish I had time to sit down and unwind with some fiction about characters who are in a play and get killed when the stage manager goes insane, or about a doctor's office that goes up in flames when a nurse's head explodes after one more stupid patient asks a stupid question.  Unfortunately, I must go back to the theatre.

Someday, this show will be over, and I'll be able to do a proper blog again.  Until then, know that I'm thinking of all of my blogging friends, and I'll be writing fiction in my little notebooks at lunches.

P.S.  There was totally no snow yesterday!!  Not even any frost on my windshield this morning.  Crazy weatherpeople.

Creativity is right out

I dreamt the other night that I was trying to write a play, but the characters were all standing around in the room with me, and they were trying to act it out as I was writing it.  They kept getting in the way, and they were all having conversations with each other while I wasn't writing about them, and it was driving me nuts.

I think I need to stop dreaming... I never get to have normal, relaxing dreams anymore!

In unrelated news, the weather people claim that it's going to snow tonight.  I laughed.  I don't really believe them.  But I'll make sure that I've got some food and water, just in case.  But I don't think I'll need it.

If this is going to be February, I want to sleep until March

I'm tired.  Bone tired.  Dead tired.  Exhausted.  In need of a thesaurus.

If this is what the rest of February is going to be like, I'd like to just sleep through until March.  

These rehearsals are killing me.  I'm having fun doing this show, and I'm learning a lot from the director, but the rehearsals are killing me.  I can't wait until we're over, just so I can go to bed early.  Mmm... bed.  That's where I'll be heading now.  Thanks for coming out.