Monday, February 16, 2009

I can't believe I'm at home

I feel like I should be at the theatre...


I was talking with Colby, and the conversation turned to old people and children.  I don't like old people.  I spend all day working with them, shouting in their ears because they can't hear me, writing out phonebooks-worth of medication lists, and trying not to gag on the perfumes and colognes that they all seem to bathe in.  I also don't like children.  I don't have to work with them as much, but they are obstinate, whiny, and prone to screaming fits when you try to do anything with them.  If you read Colby's blog, you'll soon realize that she also does not like children.  (Actually, that's a very generous statement.)

In any case, we were talking, and I mentioned that I thought it might be kind of fun to be pregnant.  I mean, I've got the equipment, so I really ought to consider using it, right?  Well, after Colby had an aneurysm, I explained that I didn't really want kids, I just wanted to try being pregnant.  It's too bad that you have to already have kids to be a surrogate mother, I told her.  She agreed. 

So we decided we should start an agency - a resource for women who don't mind the idea of being pregnant, but don't want kids of their own!  Instead of being stuck with a mind-reader at the end of it all, we'll end up with a nice little paycheck - awesome!  We're supposed to "be fruitful and multiply," so why not bear fruit for those who want it?  (I' ve got all sorts of 'Apple' jokes running through my head, but I'll refrain.)  Maybe we can even carry the next Pitt-Jolie creation, since she's not looking very robust these days!  

Anyways.  Just a thought.

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